Finding My Center

So here I am sitting in front of a blank screen trying to think of a somewhat interesting topic to post on today's blog. And I keep coming up empty. So I walked through my apartment figuring if I stepped away for a minute or two, something would come to mind. What I found was...I really love my little apartment. Yes, I was (and maybe still am) in the market for my own place. Some little cottage or small ranch that I can call my own...but this apartment would be extremely difficult to leave. It is five small rooms just the right size for me...it has character too; slanted ceilings, built in shelving, my own deck and side yard, driveway, plenty of storage and my own washer/dryer in the basement. Why would I want to leave? And, yes, the rent is very attractive. So why do I feel compelled to move?? 

Sometimes I think it is because I am acclimated to change...I've lived in nine different places since my first son was born, many more before that. That is a tough cycle to break; gypsy blood or 'carney' fever...whatever. Other times I think it would be nice to finally, after all these years, own my own place to do what I want when I want...without asking permission. The main driver, initially, was getting closer to my grandsons...and soon to be one more. But...is that really necessary? Maybe if I make some changes to other parts of my life...like putting more effort into my Boston Harbor Book...or entering exhibits...or learning more about travel writing, running workshops, feeding my creative passion, I can just stay put...have a nice solid home-base to work from. Maybe if I let go of this dream that has no solid foundation...and concentrate on the many dreams that do...I will find the satisfaction I yearn for. 

Maybe it is time for me to settle down right where I am, find my center and, instead of running to what I think I want just stretch my limits, extend my reach...and pull all those wonderful things I'm yearning for right back to me...in my cute little apartment.