Friday, June 8, 2012

There goes my perfect seat!

Donna C. here….I attended a Social Media Seminar offered by the South Shore Women's Business Network group. The Seminar was being held at Linden Ponds in Hingham MA at 12:00 in the Music Room. (5.2 miles from home). I headed out at 11:20 because I wanted to get there early to grab the greatest strategically placed seat in the room. Being shy, one of your greatest fears is walking into a crowded room late, having to introduce yourself when all eyes are staring at you. I'm not talking about the attention seekers sputtering "Oh, I'm shy too" and then proceeds to prance around the room talking to everyone including the walls about how wonderful they are. I'm talking the debilitating shyness that affects your every move, every decision, every waking hour of your Earthly existence. 
I needed that perfect seat!
I arrived at my destination at 11:45, proudly saying "Nice timing Donna, you'll get your perfect seat and you'll be saying Hi and Hello to everyone that walks into the room from the safety of your seat."
Abruptly I stopped the car.... "Um, where's Linden Ponds? and why does the sign say Jonathan's Landing? Did they change the name?" "Why aren't buildings where they're suppose to be!" My inner panic voice speaks up. "You're in Braintree you fool, you need to be in Hingham" 5.9 miles away from where I'm suppose to be. 
There goes my perfect seat!
I turned the car around, "You still have 15 minutes, you'll make it in time, nothing wrong with getting the second best seat in the room"
Pulled into Linden Ponds 3 minutes before 12:00. Drive to the Clubhouse where the Seminar is….."Um, where's the parking lot. I know there is a parking lot because I attended a Branding Seminar here and I parked in that  parking lot. Why aren't parking lots where they're suppose to be!"
I parked in front of the Clubhouse, got out of the car moving as fast as I can, walked past the Information Desk, turned right because I knew where the room was, I was there before. Empty.... "Um, where are the people?" 
"Why aren't people where they're suppose to be!"
I asked someone "Where's the Music Room?" "Right up that flight of stairs and to your right." 
I huffed and puffed up the stairs thinking "but the last time the Music Room was on the first floor."
Walked into the room. Empty... "Um, where is everyone?" "Why isn't the RIGHT Music Room where it's suppose to be!"
Huffed and puffed it back down the stairs. Asked the women behind the Information Desk 
"Where…Women's….Network…Seminar" wheezing, panting, coughing, breathless. Oxygen please!
She looked at me, her fingers on 911 in fear I was on the verge of fainting "Oh, it's in the Derby Clubhouse, you're in The Clubhouse."
"Just take a left out the driveway and then your first left, you'll see the parking lot"  I faintly replied "Thanks."
Get back in the car, huffing, puffing, almost comatose and now I'm oozing with sweat! "Oh God, my perfect seat is gone, I'm sweating profusely and the room is probably filled with thousands of people."
I pulled into the parking lot, wiped my forehead of sweat and noticed my mascara is running. Not only do I have to step into a room full of people but I'm walking in barely breathing, leaking of sweat from every pore on my body with black eyes and a dry mouth. 
I finally arrived at the room and a kindly women asked my name and writes Donna on a sticker badge…"Do you want me to write your business name too" "Donna…fine." Gasping for air.
I quickly scanned the full room and noticed that someone was sitting in my perfect seat! "Oh God now what, my perfect seat is gone." 
The women noticed that I was fighting for every breath, politely said "You can relax, you didn't need to rush. Everyone just finished introducing themselves, you're fine."
A brief moment of euphoria…."Thank the good Lord above and every sweat gland I have, I missed having to stand up and introduce myself. I'll slip into a seat and no one will notice me."
Just then I hear "Ah….wonderful, a late person….Please introduce yourself to the whole room"
Oh God, please let me pass out.


  1. I see that went according to plan.

    1. Oh yes, just like Pickett's charge.

  2. I am still laughing...and I feel your pains! Great post!

  3. Oh my god Donna your story is hysterical but I understand what you mean by being shy and not wanting all eyes on you! But you did it!